Girls Arranging their own Marriage
ASK BVKS | July 20, 2014 |
English with Русский Translation; Dobromysh, Tatarstan, Russia
Is it acceptable for a girl, whose parents don’t arrange her marriage, to arrange her own marriage by meeting different men and working it out like that?
Answer by HH Bhakti Vikāśa Swami:
According to Manu-saṁhitā it is the duty of the father to marry a daughter before her first menstruation.
And Manu also says that after, I think it’s two menstrual periods or maybe three, if the father hasn’t done that, then the girl can arrange her own marriage.
The emphasis is very much on what they nowadays call child marriage. Śrīla Prabhupāda recounts that his eldest sister was almost 14 and she was not married, and that their mother was so upset that she told their father that: “If you don’t marry her right away I’m going to drown myself in Ganga.“
Śrīla Prabhupāda’s first child was born when his wife was 13. Nowadays it’s called child abuse.
So, it’s acceptable according to śāstra. You’ve asked according to śāstra. I’ve answered according to śāstra.
Gradually it’s become accepted within Indian culture that girls go to school, and then they have a career, but still there is idea that parents should arrange the marriage. But that’s breaking down now.
Still, maybe most marriages in India are arranged, but it’s breaking down. Thousands and thousands of marriages are negotiated on the Internet. They have sites shaadi.com. Shaadi is Urdu word for marriage. Muslimmatrimony.com is an Indian site.
September 7, 2012 |
English; Dallas, Texas, USA
August 3, 2014 |
English with Русский translation; Moscow, Russia
February 19, 2012 |
Question: Why is the term 'sankirtan devotees' so commonly used in ISKCON nowadays to address book/prasadam distributors? As I understood it from HDG Srila Prabhupada's books, we are all supposed to be sankirtan devotees, because we are part of Sri Caitanya's sankirtan mission. Not being a 'sankirtan devotee' is fatal in this respect. I looked through the Vedabase and Srila Prabhupada… Expand>
Why is the term 'sankirtan devotees' so commonly used in ISKCON nowadays to address book/prasadam distributors? As I understood it from HDG Srila Prabhupada's books, we are all supposed to be sankirtan devotees, because we are part of Sri Caitanya's sankirtan mission. Not being a 'sankirtan devotee' is fatal in this respect. I looked through the Vedabase and Srila Prabhupada never used the term himself, which is kind of suspicious. Thank you very much for clarification.
Answer by HH Bhakti Vikāsa Swami:
Well, I’ve never heard it used for prasādam distributors, but it’s commonly used of book distributors within my understanding; maybe for prasādam distributors also. Yes, we are all supposed to be members of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprahu’s saṅkīrtana movement, under the guidance of Śrīla Prabhupāda. Śrīla Prabhupāda ascribed the term saṅkīrtana to distribution of his books and books that are meant for awakening people to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, because it’s all part of the preaching mission. Kīrtana means to glorify Kṛṣṇa. Saṅkīrtana means preaching Kṛṣṇa consciousness. So I wouldn’t make a big thing out of this. It’s just like we are all members of the saṅkīrtana movement, but within that movement some devotees are called pūjārī, because they do the service of pūjā. We are all supposed to worship Kṛṣṇa, but those who do so as a specialised service, they’re called pūjārī. Those whose specific service is to cook for Kṛṣṇa, they may be called the cooks. That doesn’t mean that no one else can cook. But because they do that specific service that is referred to them, they are referred to as that. So specifically those who perform book distribution, within my experience, they are called saṅkīrtana devotees. I don’t know if Śrīla Prabhupāda used that term, but it was commonly used in Śrīla Prabhupāda’s presence. He didn’t object to that. So we may do so.
Prasādam distribution is also good, but it’s not a function of praising Kṛṣṇa exactly, as the books are so. Maybe that’s a bit of a stretch to call those who are distributing prasādam saṅkīrtana devotees, although if you want to be generous, you can call everyone a saṅkīrtana devotee. But then, there would be no need. You could just call them devotees. So, anyway, I wouldn’t make a big thing out of this.^ Show less
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English; Salem, Tamil Nadu, India
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August 1, 2006 |
English; Prague, Czech Republic
May 27, 2011 |
Question: Why is it that the cultural convention is for men to renounce and women to marry but the cultural code that it is best to renounce? I would like to know which section of our society repels the renunciation of women in your opinion and why. Is it that the grhasta men want to keep their… Expand>
Why is it that the cultural convention is for men to renounce and women to marry but the cultural code that it is best to renounce?
I would like to know which section of our society repels the renunciation of women in your opinion and why. Is it that the grhasta men want to keep their enjoyment guaranteed in convention?
I personally don't see how marrying can benefit anyone in this world but simply create more attachment to bags of bone and flesh. should we not be satisfying each other’s solitude in brahmacarya?
May 24, 2014 |
English; San Diego, California, USA
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English; Bhimavaram, Andhra Pradesh, India
August 28, 2015 |
English; Inis Rath, Northern Ireland, UK
November 18, 2015 |
English; Vrindavan, Uttar Pradesh, India
May 10, 2014 |
March 7, 2012 |
Question: We are against capitalism at ISKCON. Will this economic crisis around the world escalate preaching and many people would take to Krishna consciousness?
October 25, 2016 |
English; Gauragrama, Telangana, India
December 28, 2014 |
English with தமிழ் translation; Pollachi, Tamil Nadu, India
September 3, 2016 |
English; Manchester, UK
August 26, 2012 |
English; Irvine, California, USA
December 11, 2016 |
English with தமிழ் translation; Tiruchendur, Tamil Nadu, India