Clarity in Spiritual Understanding

Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 1.2.6 | November 6, 2015 |

English; Hyderabad, Telangana, India

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I experience a strong desire to love and be loved; and lack of reciprocation causes tremendous pain. Is this a lustful perversion, when extended to a female devotee? How can one overcome such attachment, after a period of friendly engagement? Of course, these questions wouldn't have arisen in a society with segregation of sexes and early marriage. But the contemporary culture, especially in universities, insists on, intermingling, gender equality and freedom of choice; and its influence extends to devotees also. As a result, it becomes difficult to resist the arrows of Kamadeva.

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As a neophyte devotee, who has recently taken interest in giving my life to serving Srila Prabhupada and The Hare Krishna Movement, the common question of how to do so has arisen freqeuntly in my recent months of trying to serve Srila Prabhupada. How can I give my life to Srila Prabhupada’s mission to serve Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?

Looking at the movement in general, in the first few 20/30 years of the movement, devotee’s were more detached to the material world and its activities and stayed more in the temple, many would not partake in the activities of daily materialistic life, such as, school, a job, having a household away from the temple, having friends away from the temple. Which are all very understandable, because for spiritual advancement, environment and association is very important. But looking at the general trend of devotee’s today, it is very rare that devotee’s become Brahmacari, or live at the temple, or spend more than just an average one or two evenings at the temple each week. Rather the general mass of Hare Krishna devotee’s today, are very inclined towards their material education, their material success as businessmen, as families part of the social environment they live in and so on.

As a neophyte, the greatest difficulty I am facing, which is now becoming quite problematic in my spiritual life, is seeing that there is actually no difference between serving Krishna directly by maybe cleaning the temple floor, or serving his devotee’s, compared to

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More specifically, as a student who would like to give his life to serving Srila Prabhupada, being enthusiastic about serving by gaining a material education is something very difficult for me to understand. On one hand I’m reading Srila Prabhupada’s books on how the material education system in todays contemporary society is mundane as it skips the greatest question of life, that we are not these bodies and that we are the spirit soul, eternal part and parcel of Krishna. Rather material education concentrates on how we can use all the resources of the material world for our sense gratification. In Bhagavad Gita, Krishna explains, Karma Yoga, we must not simply forget everything and practice vikarma by renouncing everything and sitting alone in a room, rather we should practice akarma by offering the fruits of our actions onto Krishna and accept Him as The Supreme Controller. My difficulty is seeing how I can do so with a material college degree. It is difficult for me to submit to professors in universities who try to invalidate Krishna as Supreme Personality of Godhead, rather they accredit atheism and such illogical theories.

The question arises in my mind, that, rather than spending time and money in college acquiring a degree I am not even sure with what I want to do, rather I can surrender my whole life in serving as a devotee in a temple where they hardly have any devotee’s to serve.

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I wanted to inform you of my current position as well as a bit of my past. Prior to moving to San Deigo I was a resident of Krsna House in Gainsvile Florida, in which I studied there for a year. Durning that time I spent most of it being guided by Caitanya davi dasi and Vallahba. I owe all of my advancement and whole being to these two devotees. Who took the time to fix me up directly onto the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada.

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Please help me to perfect this life because my mind is the worst enemy that I have. I don’t know anything nor do I have the power to do anything. I rely on the devotees and guidance from senior Vaisnavas.

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